“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” – Thomas Merton: No Man is an Island
Ideally we would like to think that the person we end up with will be someone who completely accepts, loves and understands us. However, It’s becoming quite difficult to love unconditionally in relationships these days.
Not only is it becoming more common for couples to break up because of their differences but also because they weren’t able to fully accept each other for who they were.
Sure there will be difficult times in any relationship but what is most important is remembering that you can’t change someone or their habits. Too often I see people get together and in the beginning of the relationship they ignore the warning signs.
Warning signs meaning things about the individual that maybe you are willing to compromise on or look past because you really like them. But what happens when you can no longer ignore these signs, habits or behaviors?
It’s okay to compromise in relationships and while I’m definitely no relationship expert I know that the relationships which last for 50 to 60 years usually have one major thing in common: compromise.
However when you find yourself constantly trying to change that person you love then perhaps it’s time to do some personal reflecting and reassessing.
Why is it that you are trying to change your significant other? What is stopping you from completely accepting them?
If you find yourself unable to really accept the person than maybe it’s time to let go of the relationship and allow both parties to find someone who will love you who for you are.
I’m not promoting breaking up with someone immediately because you can’t accept one thing about the person.
What I am saying though is to consider what is stopping you from accepting the person completely and why you may feel the need to change the person to fit a particular image.
Perhaps even remember what made you fall in love with the person in the first place and keep in mind what makes you both work rather than what doesn’t work.
We all want to be loved and unconditionally accepted by someone.
Allow yourself the opportunity to love someone who they are truly are. It may be one of the biggest challenges of your life but perhaps one of the most life-changing and rewarding experience you will ever have.
Note: **Abusive or toxic relationships fall into a completely different category and definitely should not be tolerated under any circumstance.