What we want versus what we must do are two very completely different things. In my quest to heal the traumas of the past I have learned that the only way out is through.
I may not want to go through the process to reflect and clear trauma but I know that I must to make space for it.
To give it a voice and to let all the hurt from those memories be free.
Yesterday I went very deep in two meditations enough to forget my body for a split second. I jolted back into the reality of my teacher’s voice and noticed where my mind had gone.
I went into an archive tucked away in time to a distant and near memories. One of which I got my heart broken and the other a trauma around the belief of not being lovable.
Sad but true.
Meditation is such a phenomenal tool in gaining insight on what is underneath all of the layers of my “self”.
In it I gain perspective and some peace that wasn’t there before.
This morning I woke up from several intense dreams where I released some buried hurt around two very traumatic relationships. One of my father where he transformed into a hummingbird and passed away.
I realized that in my hurt I could still see his worthiness. While he may not transform in this life he has the opportunity to transform in other dimensions.
We are never truly fixed as we are.
Dreams are opportunities for us to grow, expand and learn outside of ourselves. With intention and awareness I believe we can heal a lot in the dream state.
We are worthy of giving ourselves this.
Kintsugi is the art of embracing the flawed and imperfect by mending together broken and shattered pottery with gold lacquer highlighting the cracks rather than hiding them.
I like to consider that my healing journey is like the art of Kintsugi. Perhaps my heart is a mirror of the image above.
Pure with gold outlines.
Whatever our old hurts may be we can take them and give them light. Show them there is still beauty in the flaws.
The story is perfect and whole as we are.
-From Emily, With Love.