Breaking out of our Comfort Zone & Fears

freedom  Regardless of where we are at in life, there is always an aspect that we are extremely comfortable in whether it’s a relationship, career, location, dietary habits, etc. The reasons behind this may be because we are truly happy with being comfortable, safety, stability or whatever else drives us to be there in that place of comfort.

Is comfort necessarily a bad thing? No. However it is when you are no longer growing, when you remain stagnant in this place, your “comfort zone”.  Some of us grow accustomed to the predictable, the known and unwavering energy that this has provided. So then what happens? What if we are miserable yet comfortable in the misery? This can relate to many things, i.e. career choice/fear of relationships/fear of leaving a relationship, location, health habits, exercise, spiritual choices.

Are we really creatures of habit? Perhaps. I’d like to think we are capable of so much more though. All my life I have been trying to break past that mold of comfort. Lately I have hit a wall in some areas and know that in order for me to step into my true power I must let go of some things, including those I surround myself with. It’s hard to leave that place that served to be a source of something stable or comfort for so long.

I recently read somewhere that behind all of our fears is love. Love is limitless. Now this has nothing to do with romantic love, this is just love for life, love for yourself, for what makes you happy and for those you care about. So if we could somehow channel this love into our lives more I think we could break past the molds we create, the prisons we live in and the burdens we carry all out of comfort.

So what’s it going to be? How has this first month of 2014 treated you? Have you shown up for yourself and your success? What steps are you taking to break out of that comfort zone? We truly are capable of so much more than where we are standing. I’ve manage to channel a lifetime of abuse into a successful career and used it as my motivation to help others.

Perhaps you can also channel your experiences, your place of comfort or discomfort and excel beyond your own expectations. I’m not saying we all need to be like me. I’m only encouraging you to consider your options. Looking at your life right now, what are you comfortable yet uncomfortable with in your life? What can you do today, at this very moment to make changes to break out of that mold?

Every tiny step counts. Whatever we can do to start activating the energy to move is when we begin to grow and to move outside of our comfort zone into the new path for our life. Yes, it can be scary but I swear it’s worth it and never  ever once think it’s too late.



When Searching For Happiness.

“Happiness often comes when least expected.” – Hector and the Search for Happiness

In our search for happiness, we often overlook the simple things that come as  tiny blessings unexpectedly.

For example, recently I was invited to go see a movie. When I arrived at the theater, immediately something felt weird.  The person who took my ticket stub was acting strange, the movie didn’t start on time and to top it off, it was the WRONG movie. For some odd reason, the movies had been switched.

Looking at this situation, I could easily just have focused on all the negatives and been extremely disappointed. However, there was a positive tiny blessing that came out of it.  I didn’t get to see the movie I wanted but in exchange not only was I refunded, I received two passes to any movie to use any time.

Sometimes things may not work out the way we expect them to but in my situation with the movie theater, happiness came when least expected.

It’s in the unexpected where real surprise and happiness can be found.

One of the 5 rules for happiness is to expect less. What are you expecting from life that may not be contributing to your happiness? Is there anything you can do to change those expectations?

When You Lose a Loved One.

Death is a sensitive subject in our world today. You have to be most careful and tread lightly when discussing death, the afterlife and loss in general.

While these boundaries are important, it’s also important to talk about it and share ideas on loss and grief.

Losing anyone close to you can be one of the most painful and gut-wrenching experiences of your life. However through this pain, people are sometimes able to take away a powerful lesson or a significant message about their own lives.
I’m not saying that we need to have our loved ones pass for us to learn life lessons.   However, I have noticed in my work as a professional medium that many of my clients have had powerful epiphanies after someone close to them passed away.

It’s often described like a wake-up call and people suddenly realize what truly is important. All of the other worries, concerns and “small stuff” are not as important anymore. Values and beliefs sometimes change as well as perspectives.

While we will never get our loved ones back, I like to believe that they are always with us in spirit. Some would disagree with this idea and that’s okay.

As a medium, my clients have taught me a few lessons about death and losing a loved one that I would like to share with you:

1. It’s okay to grieve, cry, scream and blame the world.

Sure the idea is to grieve and there is supposed to be some time frame that our grieving will be done. But let’s face it, we are all different and it may take years before we ever really start to feel like ourselves again. Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions you need to help you in this process.

2. If you have lost a loved one and sometimes feel their presence still around, it doesn’t mean you are crazy.

I have had clients who sometimes feel their passed loved one around them years after he or she had passed. If you feel your passed loved one around you sometimes, they just might be. Who is to say they aren’t?

It could be you thinking about them or grieving over their loss that you wish they were still around. However, from my experience as a medium they may make a visit to see you in Spirit.

3. It’s okay to seek out professional help in the midst of grieving.

Sometimes, therapy/guidance/counseling can be looked at as something weird or if you go to one, you have serious issues. However this belief is changing as more and more people are finding it to be helpful in having someone to talk to.

If you feel the urge to seek out someone to talk to, do it. Don’t feel weak or bad because you can’t hold all your emotions in. It’s healthy to release this energy and will help you in the healing process.

4. Trust that your loved one is okay.

Many of my clients’ first question is, “Are they okay?”.  In many of contacts with the Spirits who have passed on, most have communicated that they are ok.

Again, this goes with your belief system. Not everyone believes in the afterlife or in mediums.

5. Healing takes time.

Don’t think that because it’s been a year since your loved one passed that you should be completely done grieving. This will take time and don’t be hard on yourself if you are still grieving.

Be patient with yourself and seek out as much support from those around you to help you in this process. Remember your loved one will always be a part of you.

As wise Leo Tolstoy once said, “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”

When All You Can Do Is Wait.

 Waiting for things to happen can be a very trying and difficult process. In our society today, our patience is limited and usually we want things to happen fast. People get frustrated easily when they don’t receive a prompt reply back from a text message or email sent. So it makes sense that when it comes down to waiting, we simply can’t and don’t want to especially when it is something we really want.

Personally, I know I despise waiting for something I want to happen. I hate the feeling of anxiousness and the sense of time going by so slowly. It’s as if no matter what I do to take my mind off of whatever it is that I am waiting on to happen, it’s always in the back of my mind. Have you ever felt this way?

How can we enjoy the waiting process rather than feeling like it’s the hardest part? For me I found that it is best to fill up my time with things I liked to do while waiting. I tried to write, read and meditate more. I also found that spending time with people, i.e. friends and loved ones helped to take my mind off of whatever it is I was on waiting to happen. Sometimes it’s best to plan out your days while waiting so you can have an idea of what to focus on.

The waiting process may not be fun or very exciting but at least we can try to make the best of it. The next time you are in situation where all you can do is wait, take advantage of the opportunity to focus on other things that may be just as important or enjoyable. Waiting doesn’t always have to be the hardest part.