I always second guess if I should post these reflections but then I think of the men & women who suffer from trauma and I do it anyway.
So thank you for reading.
Today I shared a really intense and painful memory in therapy.
My heart hurts from it.
I find myself hearing his thoughts in my head as I talk about it out loud.
“You brought it on yourself. You asked for it. This is your fault.”
I felt immediate anger and rage. I wanted to pick up everything in front of me and smash it.
“What a fucking monster. Get out of my head.”
Not talking about these memories makes them feel less real, somewhere far away in time, like it never happened.
But as I practice sharing them out loud I can discern how my brain has used minimizing to cope and how these thoughts are not my own but his.
I feel better after sharing. And closer to the truth of who I am before the trauma. The version of me that thrives today.
so much love.