Talking about Sexual Abuse

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I always second guess if I should post these reflections but then I think of the men & women who suffer from trauma and I do it anyway.

So thank you for reading.

Today I shared a really intense and painful memory in therapy.

My heart hurts from it.

I find myself hearing his thoughts in my head as I talk about it out loud.

“You brought it on yourself. You asked for it. This is your fault.”

I felt immediate anger and rage. I wanted to pick up everything in front of me and smash it.

“What a fucking monster. Get out of my head.”

Not talking about these memories makes them feel less real, somewhere far away in time, like it never happened.

But as I practice sharing them out loud I can discern how my brain has used minimizing to cope and how these thoughts are not my own but his.

I feel better after sharing. And closer to the truth of who I am before the trauma. The version of me that thrives today.

so much love.