The process of sharing my voice has been an uphill battle.
As a child and young adult I never truly felt safe in sharing my voice.
I didn’t know the rage it could carry when angry.
I didn’t know the gentle grace it has when soft.
I didn’t know how powerful it was to move crowds.
It has been in the last few years that I have given my voice a chance to be FREE. To say what it has never said. To feel the tremble of anxiety in front of crowds.
To be on Facebook live and teach webinars, do mediumship messages in front of strangers and liberate myself from the fears of judgment, rejection and disapproval.
My little girl is slowly leaving and my woman voice is rising.
She is firm. Stern. Soft. gentle. nurturing. compassionate, resilient as fuck.
She loves unconditionally.
She holds space with sacredness.
She gives because she just fucking wants to.
And… she curses. Because it feels good.
And these days I am all about doing whatever I can to feel better.
The goal isn’t 100% going to be to feel good. But I can make it a goal to feel better.
So I am giving myself permission to be FREE as fuck. In my communication.
In my message. In my loudness. In my softness.
I still am learning boundaries. To give and to receive.
TO SAY NO.
NO is still hard. It is safe for me to say no now with grace and ease.
For those who are not sure what their voice is or are stepping into the power of the voice here are some tools that have helped me:
- Scream. Find a mountain. Find a room. Your car. And scream as loud as you want to. Scream all the things that your heart hurts from! Scream all the things you want! Shout it into the universe! What are you deserving of? What are you healing from? Who do you want to curse out? DO IT! And don’t hold back.
- Sing. Sing in the shower. Sing strange sounds. Make up new words. Play with sound.
- Speak up. Be the first to speak up in a crowd of people. Raise your hand. Everyone else is probably too scared to speak their truth. Do it and be the source of change.
These are a few tools I practice to help me release, transform and hear what I want to say, what I need to say, and what I MUST say.
It doesn’t always have to make sense. It is an experiment with you finding, hearing, soothing your voice.
Be free voice, be free.