“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” – Shakespeare
The #metoo movement. #timesup. Women are speaking out. It’s a powerful time in history for us.
It is a powerful time for me.
I have my own #metoo story. I can hear the naysayers call me a victim. The men who sexually abuse women not give a f*ck. The father predators not take responsibility.
And the women who hide. Hide their sexuality. Their femininity. Their stories.
I am one of those women. Every day it is a practice for me to come out from the shadows.
My survival tendency is to be a wallflower. To carry a badge of shame as if I asked for it.
I was just a kid. I was just a teenage girl. I was just trying to find my way.
They slap a label on us and somehow if it happened once it’s going to happen again.
What a shitty statistic to put on a woman. But this isn’t just about my story. It’s about her story.
Every woman who is afraid. To walk down the street. Who hunches her back. Hides her body.
Feels afraid to be intimate. Sexy. Too much. Not enough.
It is my mission to free myself by telling my story over and over again.
To find new ways to empower myself. New stories. New neuropathways.
A life after trauma is like learning how to walk again as an adult. I feel like for so many years I’ve been crawling. Hiding. In the fetal position.
Don’t touch me. Don’t cat call me. Don’t look at me that way.
These are thoughts #metoo women live with. And these are the thoughts I am learning to let go. To embrace a new way of being.
I have built healthy relationships. Forgiven myself. Forgiven the hims’. My father. My 2nd father. All the men I hated after them.
#metoo gives us a voice. To free ourselves from the pain we live with every day.
And to trust again. To trust ourselves. To let go of shame.
And to know there are good people in the world who want to love us in all our ways.
To love ourselves. To know we are enough.
Maya Angelou, a hero of mine shared her wise words of poetry,